1. My gun never lies about the length of its barrel.
2. My gun doesn't have to wait an hour to fire again.
3. If my gun fails to eject, I don't have to tell it that it happens to every gun.
4. I only have to pump my shotgun once before it is ready to go.
5. My gun doesn't fire until I am ready for it.
6. My gun isn't afraid to commit.
7. My gun doesn't look at other racks.
8. My gun doesn't stray to other holsters.
9. My gun never asks me to make it a sandwich after I'm done using it.
10. After a bad day, my gun ALWAYS makes me feel better.